Perfect One

Perfectionism is the dirtiest word of all. For a million reasons. It's the reason I can't get out of bed in the morning without a firm kick in the behind. It's why my preferences for food get smaller and smaller until nothing sounds goods, and I mean nothing. How can I enjoy food if it needs to be gluten-free, vegetarian, high in protein, low in sugar and also be delicious and easy to prepare? Oh thank god, I found something... and oh my god it's a week later and I've eaten it for 2 out of 3 meals everyday and want to gag when I think about it. "Shit out of luck" is the scientific term for this circumstance. "Fuck it and hello mac and cheese" is the primary reversion.
Perfectionism is the reason I quit blogging. "UHG It's just too much to ask to write a mind-blowing societal overhaul each day... I'm just not feeling up to it."We'll duh Hitler-self. My psyche can really be a Joan Crawford at times. And I really do DESPISE wire hangers. I actually can't believe I allow them in my closet. One day at a time, right?
(Now here comes the idealistic poetry, the "shoulds", the "ifs", and then the impossible "hows":) If only I could find the root. Why am I so dissatisfied with my natural state? Why am I so dissatisfied with the state of others? In this world, nothing is as it should be, especially the things I touch. Another piece of crap fact is I know that it is my fault that my perception is so cruddy. I scratch and claw at WHY and HOW when there is no substance to either... WHY doesn't even matter for two reasons: first, WHY is a distraction to how. We can get hung up all day on why and never ask how to make it better. Secondly, why causes us to look back, to regret, to pity self, to remain static. We are sitting and watching our house burn instead of grabbing our children and getting the fack out.
How can be a major downer too, especially if perfectionism is your dirty word. "I know what I need to do, but it's just too much because I know I'll never be able to do it every day perfectly and then I'll be defeated yet again" And the I hear a Winnie the Pooh "Oh Bother." Oh bother is right because I am crazy and need a new brain. I got Abby Someone's... Abbie NORMAL. Young Frankenstein reference. Now that the movie quotes have come out and I forgot the point of this whole thing, I am going to try to get out of my own way by helping another person. That is the simple, constant solution. We have it, we just forget.