Guns Kill People and Guns Kill People

ASSHOLES!!!! Attempting to watch a clip of that sick Aurora, CO shooting spree only to be graced by a pre-roll ad with 7 beautiful women dressed as nuns carrying automatic weapons. It's an advertisement for the video game Hit Man. ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME!!!????? People have died and your are sadistically supporting virtually offing people? How more retardedly, ironically, self-sabotagingly dim-witted can this country's media get? Entertainment is news, news is entertainment. If you think killing people is entertaining there sure-as-a-witch's-tit is gonna be some bored kid with severe, unchecked depression (his single parent deems "eccentricity" or "confusion") who will blow a hole in something somewhere whether it be a person's head, or the stucco wall in a Kmart Superstore. DUH. Then you get into all the gun laws, the politics, the ethics, the "problems with this country." And everyone is pointing a finger at everyone else. Everyone should own a gun, and no one should own a gun, but then the government has guns and we are fucked. And who are we kidding when we think stiff regulation will keep arms out of the bad guy's hands? "Well look at Italy." I don't want to look at Italy- because people get stabbed there all the time and truth be told, I'd rather be shot with a bullet than shanked with some depressed kid's rusty butterfly knife collectable.

I know there is more to it. This is why I don't like politics. I get it... I get your view, and I get his view. And I can't ever decide.

Not Certain

I thought this anti/anon blog thing would be a good idea but now I'm second-guessing. It is fun to be anonymous but anonymity has lead me to be more ranty than normal. The average american would probably say "If you are angry let it out, just not in someone's face." I have a different theory because my anger is not subsiding. I don't think anger is like balloon full of air that needs to be released. I think it is more like a flame burning in a candle, that needs to be blown out. So long as it has oxygen, carbon and heat it will continue to burn. You add more of the three, it gets bigger. Just because the flame is getting bigger doesn't mean it will run out of steam and shut itself down. It keeps going. The things that make me angry never go away. People are always people. There are always slow drivers, loud talkers, assholes that hang up on you when you are just doing your job. There are always over-acheivers, plate-lickers, liars. So I always have fuel. I am alive so I have the oxygen. And I am naturally an angry person so the pilot is always lit. The question is, do I combine elements today? Do I want to light the fire? It's a choice for me, and an important choice because for some reason, contrary to the literal sense in most cases, it is a lot easier to light a fire than to put it out.

This Is It

Like Michael Jackson said, "This Is It". MJ really creeps me out to the core but for some reason this stuck with me. Maybe because it was forced into my subconscious by the billboards, commercials and ads. I can visualize his silhouette now. When I went to a photo exhibit of rockers past and present, there was an MJ collage and I couldn't look at it without my stomach turning, hair standing on end. I got that gaggy feeling in my throat and needed to move away. Minutes later I could relate looking at him to viewing the images of a deformed child, someone with severe elephantiasis or the image of a cycloptic kitten. He isn't that weird looking physically, but I think there is something weird looking about him humanly. There is just some wrong. Like really wrong. The Jacksons are like ghosts of people, but deformed ghosts. Theirs souls have spare appendages and scoliosis. That's all I can really reason. I don't know if he harmed children or was a nice person. I just see "A Child Called It" without doing the laborious work it took Dave Pelzer to feel like a valuable part of society, like a human. MJ just believed it. Maybe that's what Michael means by "This Is It"... This is the dislodged, mutated, nonhuman, nonvaluable, Me.

Had no idea where this post would go. Thank god for anonymity. Love you Latoya.

Anonymous Friend

Hi there. I am your anonymous friend doing his part to not be poison in the well water. I work hard daily to maintain normalcy, to keep a friendly smile the days you see me. In my room my body devours itself, beginning with the mind, then the brain, then the nerves, then the tissues and then everything. It is a slow burning process. I don't want to touch anyone or spread this perpetual virus to my fellows. Why not I ask myself sometime... If I suffer how come they get to remain at peace with happenings? Why don't they get to know what I know and see the side of life I am made to see. I don't ask why much anymore. And it's not so much a matter of morals or ethics that I don't stink up the world with my foul mouth, my anger or my paranoid mental creations. I think it's fear. But that begs the age old question of morals and ethics. Were it not for fear would you be a "good person"? Were it not for your fear of hell, prison, your wife, of loneliness, of death, would you wake up on time for work, smile at the neighbor and drive in a straight line? This is the poison, but would it be poison in a mind without fear? Or would it shift it's weight into color art beauty change magic? I may never know because I'm chicken shit. And the fire inside will continue to burn.