Anonymous Friend

Hi there. I am your anonymous friend doing his part to not be poison in the well water. I work hard daily to maintain normalcy, to keep a friendly smile the days you see me. In my room my body devours itself, beginning with the mind, then the brain, then the nerves, then the tissues and then everything. It is a slow burning process. I don't want to touch anyone or spread this perpetual virus to my fellows. Why not I ask myself sometime... If I suffer how come they get to remain at peace with happenings? Why don't they get to know what I know and see the side of life I am made to see. I don't ask why much anymore. And it's not so much a matter of morals or ethics that I don't stink up the world with my foul mouth, my anger or my paranoid mental creations. I think it's fear. But that begs the age old question of morals and ethics. Were it not for fear would you be a "good person"? Were it not for your fear of hell, prison, your wife, of loneliness, of death, would you wake up on time for work, smile at the neighbor and drive in a straight line? This is the poison, but would it be poison in a mind without fear? Or would it shift it's weight into color art beauty change magic? I may never know because I'm chicken shit. And the fire inside will continue to burn.