Depression - Google is my Therapist

I am depressed again. I hate this. It is so awful because I feel like I will never come out of it. I feel like it is all my fault that I am depressed and that everyone is going to leave me because of it. I don't know why or where this begins but it does and it gets progressively worse. I get angry because of it; anger and depression are best buds. I get afraid too- afraid I will always be emotionally sick and end up alone.  It's kind of a state of panic. I remember when I went to treatment for alcoholism and addiction in 2010 they gave me this huge list of cognitive distortions. Here is an article on it from PsychCentral.com on 15 Common Cognitive Distortions.
My go-to CD (lets abbreviate because I am lethargic) is Catastrophizing. I love to believe that everything is going to hell in a handbasket. (Where did that saying come from? it's hilarious.) Also overgeneralization and black and white thinking are common. "Everyone everywhere for all time doesn't like me, is unfriendly so how will I ever have friends?" Sound so stupid but I do that!  Jumping to conclusions too: "No one at my work thinks I'm funny therefore they must not like me" It is all very crazy and immature but for some reason I do this.
Out of a last ditch attempt at addressing this wretched state of being I always google. A couple nights ago I was feeling like I didn't have a close group of friends and that it's my fault so I googled "How to be a good friend". Results were pretty good actually, in particular this article from RealSimple.com - How To Be a Good Friend. I like the part on making small gestures and not giving advice.
Sometimes I google "What is my purpose" and some religious stuff came up so I gave up that search and just sought volunteer opportunities in my area.
Just now I did a final and winning google search for "Beating Depression without Medication" I was on medication for almost 2 and a half years and have been off for several months now. It has not been easy but clearly these drugs don't cure the problem, they are simply a bandaid, lest I am dependent for life. Once I remember that I am depressed and that it's not something I'm doing wrong I am able to address it better. Sometimes I act like I don't have depression because I want so bad for it to be a thing of the past, so I forget and it takes me days to get back to the proper solution... I just bought 2 books on depressions, one I am most excited about because it sounds very practical and easy called The Depression Cure by Stephen S Ilardi, PhD. It discusses our un-evolved genome but our highly changed society and how we are not getting the basic necessities the hunter-gatherer requires ie sunlight, sleep, exercise, social involvement and important nutrients like Omega 3 Fatty Acids. Very simple concept and very simple solution. I am excited to read it and report a benefit
Love to you and yours if you understand what I'm talking about. It's not easy. In fact it's downright impossible at times. And all of the things that is takes to make it better are the last things we care to do. The positive is that once I realize that it my depression talking to me, and not reality, I can begin to take the steps necessary to get better, even if it's googling the right word and paying 10 bucks for a book online. I already feel a little better. 
And to be an ironic, sarcastic asshole, I have included an over-the-top stock photo of a depressed, hopeless woman in a corner. Because we all sit in corners with a forlorn, detached look of ultimate impending doom when we are depressed, right? :P